The AX Report 2000
by Xoth, Master of Black Magic
Day 3: A Farewell to Arms
(And the People They Were Attached To)
Awake again before almost everyone else, once more I snuck out to get
that long sought after breakfast. After studying the map of the resort complex
in the AX handbook, I concluded that the shortest way to the nearest McDonald’s
was not the way we had gone to Denny’s the previous night. So I set off in
another direction and walked. And walked. And walked some more. Ultimately I
came to a sign that said “Turn Back Now, While You Still Have Some Dignity
Left.”
Tim: Actually, it said something along the lines of “Sidewalk Ends; No
Pedestrians Allowed.” But it amounts to the same thing, in my book.
This was just too much. The Masquerade, the rampant censorship, the outrageous
prices—and now there was no way out of this accursed hellhole. I had reached its
limits and was confronted with a cliff a mile high. Once again I was on the
verge of one of my trademark attacks, the Xoth Atomic Total Freakout.
Fortunately, a few other lost people wandered by and saw me shaking and wheezing
uncontrollably. After a few moments, I noticed them gaping at me and quickly
withdrew into my shell of humiliation. With that incident taken care of, I
retreated to the room, the perplexed stares of my would-be audience following me
all the way.
Sadly, it was the day that Pyxie, Pokey and Sky would be
leaving our little band of FFMLers. The couple was going to Las Vegas, and
Sky was heading home in the evening because he had summer school on
Monday. But before they left, there was one thing we absolutely had to do:
take photos of all the crap everyone had bought! We also took pictures of
actual people, most of which I cannot show for fear of getting sued by a
conservative watchdog group. And most of which involved either Sky or
Daran. ;D Or me. XD XD XD But there were good pictures too.
Tim: Truthfully, there weren’t that many perverted pictures. Most of
the ones I took, anyway, are clean. Now if only I could have set myself up
better.... We did actually take pictures of the stuff we’d bought,
though. |
Don't ask me how we managed to cram all
that
merchandise in that small room in the first
place;
I'm exaggerating for humorous effect
here! |
Now it was time to say goodbye to Pyxie and Pokey, and each of us
handled it in his or her own way. Locke, for example, gave them goodbye hugs.
Golbez gave Pyxie his Record of Lodoss War tape to copy and promised to
win a round of DDR for them. Sky also gave them a promise, vowing to smoke two
joints in honor of the couple. Johnmog, true to his moogle heritage, did a
little goodbye dance. Daran gave Pyxie a goodbye hug and Pokey a goodbye kiss.
As for Mabis and I, we just stood there silently and waved. For their part,
Pyxie and Pokey promised that, if they won big in Vegas, they would give each of
us an equal share. Since I haven’t gotten any money yet, I can only assume they
didn’t win.
Tim: No, it wasn’t nearly as complicated as all that. If it had been, they
would have missed the bus to the airport. ;) And do you really think anyone
would share their winnings with a bunch of online acquaintances? If they did win
anything, it probably was only enough to cover what they paid me for their stay
at Disneyland. Even then they probably lost it all again on the slots.
;)
After consoling ourselves by blowing more dough in the exhibit
hall, it was time for me to get off of my feet and vegetate for a while. To do
so, I first dragged myself all the way over to the Disneyland Pacific Hotel and
watch some anime in the video rooms with Sky. Due to the irregular schedule, we
first saw an episode of You’re Under Arrest! (much to Sky's annoyance)
then we got to what we had come for: Escaflowne. It was rather strange to
me; it was only about a half-hour long, and it seemed almost as if it was an
episode in the middle of a series. Later I realized that the Escaflowne
movie was showing in the “film room,” while we had been in “Video Room 5” or
something. I thought I was going to see the movie when really I had seen an
episode of the series. Boy did I feel dumb!
Tim: I may act it a lot of the time, but I’m not that stupid. Really I’m
not. I knew what I was going to see, really. This is just me writing stuff to
make myself look stupid. I’m really quite knolegebl—knowlegeb—knowlegi—...smart.
Quite smart. Really.
When we returned to the room, Golbez had some
more friends over. As usual, we watched more anime, played more games, and
messed around. Eventually, Golbie’s friends took off, and Daran and Mabis
ditched us to attend a fanfic writers’ panel (Mabis’ choice) and a yaoi panel
(obviously Daran’s choice ^_^). Of course, we wanted to actually have dinner, so
Sky, Golbie, John, Locke, and I dragged one of Golbie's friends back to Denny’s,
this time driving there in this big white—thing that Sky calls his truck.
;D Once there, I finally managed to find what had eluded me since Thursday, the
day I arrived: breakfast. Well, breakfast at 7pm, admittedly. Denny’s Grand
Slam, a cheap yet filling breakfast plate. I won’t get into the semantics of
whether it counts as breakfast or dinner, so don’t argue. ;P
By the time we were finished, it was about time for Sky to take off.
So we all piled into Sky’s, err, vehicle, and he returned us to the hotel. Since
we were all goodbyed out, he got considerably less fanfare than Pyxie and Pokey
did. Still, that didn't discourage him any. After giving each guy a rib-breaking
bear hug (except for Golbez’s friend, who gave him a cautious handshake and a
wary look), off he rode into the—well, not the sunset, it was already dark by
then. The point is he took off. Whether or not he made it home in that ancient
Mazda pickup no one knows....
Tim: I would assume he did make it, seeing as I’ve been chatting with him on
IRC practically every day since I got back. Whether he made it home with or
without incident, however, is still unknown. ;)
Now full of food, we
were also feeling full of mischief. We decided to do something wild and daring.
But what?.... Of COURSE! We would go to the film room and sneak in to
catch the last half-hour of the Escaflowne movie! Not only was it crafty,
it was also a statement—namely, you can’t beat down the people. Go ahead, tell
us the Masquerade is all sold out, shut us out of Escaflowne, kick us out
of the video rooms for “indecent exposure.” They can take away our hentai, but
they can never take away—our freedom!!! So, our little otaku hearts
burning with a sense of purpose, we headed to the film room ready to throw the
Man some sticks and disobey some civility. Or something.
Sneaking into Escaflowne—or so we
thought. |
Everything was going according to plan until we got to the film
room. There we were greeted by the enemy: ushers! But we came prepared.
Golbez would provide a distraction by seducing the usher and luring him
away, and the rest of us would sneak in. Of course, we didn’t tell Golbez
about this, and he was insulted that we thought he would sink that low. So
with Plan A shot, we went ahead with Plan B: create a loud noise in the
hallway and make a dash for the doors when the usher went over to
investigate. Unfortunately, no matter how loud the noise was the usher
didn’t come to investigate. And we soon found out why: not an usher but a
security guard came to investigate. And when he found out what we’d been
doing, he was not happy. However, thanks to Locke’s sweet talking (and
several of my $20 bills), he let us off with a warning. Finally we got
into the room when we asked the usher if we could, and he shrugged and
waved us in. |
Tim: Can you imagine? Otaku as left-wing radicals? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA—
ahhh. There was no grand idealism behind our going. We just decided to go. Why
at the very end, I don’t know. But the result was the same; the ushers let us in
without objection. Although I left to use the bathroom and was stopped coming
back in, they decided to let me in again anyway. So it all worked
out.
Anyhow, because we came in at the end I didn’t really understand
the stuff that was going on, so I can’t offer much of a review here. (Not YET,
anyways. ;) So after the movie, we returned to the room and did stuff. What it
was I don’t remember. Therefore I can only assume it involved alcohol or some
sort of illegal substance. ;D But at some point Daran and Mabis returned from
the panels and the Utena movie. We learned from them that the movie was
even more queer than the series. Anyways, Golbez also returned from Utena
(we lost track of him after getting into Escaflowne) and, well—I don’t
remember much. Either it was an entirely forgettable evening after that, or the
alcohol killed those particular brain cells. :D
Tim: There was no alcohol present that evening. Particularly since at that
point most of us were underage.
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Disclaimer: This account contains a lot that could offend
people. Sex. Porn. Drug use. Profanity. Violence. Anime. Crudely drawn pictures.
Sentence fragments. A lot of non-white people. People celebrating a culture
other than America’s. Disney-bashing aplenty. At any rate, if something offends
you, stop reading. If your kids read something that offends you, tell them to go
to another web site. If you’re really ticked off by it, then tell me and I’ll listen. Certain
characters, events, etc. referred to and depicted in this account come from
Japanese animated films and television series and are copyrighted by their
respective companies. Whatever the SPJA and Anime Expo have copyrighted
belongs to them. Text, original images, and image manipulations © Tim
Kaneshiro.
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